Adopting an ‘older child’ -

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We were approved at panel in February 2015, and then told there were fewer children in the system waiting for their forever family!  The disappointment was palpable, after an exhausting assessment we were both extremely disappointed.

Then in early July came the call we’d been waiting for: ‘it’s a boy!’

I keenly remember the description: ‘A’, a five year old, 6 the following month. Part of a large sibling group, hyper aware, too compliant then the dreaded words – Neglect, Abuse, Cruelty!

Following a meeting with his team it was agreed in principle that we were a good match and we worked towards matching panel.  The days dragged on. You see, we had fallen in love with our little man, we may not have met him but we cherished the one photo we had been given.

We met with all the people involved in his short life and gained as much information as we could about him, ready to welcome him into our lives.  The days dragged and dragged and our hearts ached for this little boy, but procedures had to be followed and he needed some sessions to ensure he was prepared too.

We thought we were prepared! I think as much as you’re given ‘worse case scenarios’ and talk through what is going to happen, until you have another little person in your home it’s impossible to know what to expect.  From the moment we met our son, our lives have changed for the better but things haven’t always been easy.  Just understanding each other’s ways, his little foibles and manners takes time.

The first few weeks were difficult.  It might have been easier if we’d known the right things about him and his ways.  Although the foster carer was kind she portrayed him as the perfect child and led us into a false sense of security.  Nothing major, we just could have been better prepared. For example we specifically asked her if he suffered nightmares or bed wetting – her answer was no, but he did!  We could have ensured we had more linen (we only had two sets thinking he could choose his own once he settled) so when he’d had numerous accidents in one night there were no more!  After his first nightmares we made dream catchers for him, and only this week, almost a year later, he shouted down the stairs, ‘Mum, can you please empty my dream catchers I think they’re nearly full?’

What we’d almost forgotten in our excited preparation was that our little boy has his own personality, he could communicate his like or dislike of something – for the first few days all he would eat was jam sandwiches! But as someone very wise told me, ‘the only control he currently has is what he puts into his mouth’.  This statement made me realise what a brave little boy he is.  At 6 years old he moved into a new family, new home, new city, new school and remarkably endeared himself to all who met him.

I didn’t carry him for 9 months, or give him life, or see him take his first steps or hear him speak his first words but I’m his mother.  I’m there when he falls over and grazes his knee.  I’m there to help with homework, I’m there to empty the full dream catcher, and I’m there to help him to become a confident, happy, loving little boy.

My husband and I are the luckiest parents, to have him, as each day he makes us smile and brings a tear of joy to my eyes.

We know that it is a few weeks ago, but we want to say a massive thank you to our families who attended our recent Summer Celebration.

It is a great way for us to celebrate adoption with our families and so nice to say to families who adopted recently, and those who have been coming back for years!

We received this bit of feedback from one of our families and we think it sums up why the day is so important.

We look forward to seeing you all at our next Support Group and our Christmas Celebration! Keep an eye out for those invites

Summer Celebration Day Feedback

We have recently been uploading some new videos on Facebook, Twitter and our YouTube Channel following the stories of three sets of adopters from the time they were first considering adoption to when they first met their children and the support they receive afterwards.  If you missed these videos, they can be seen on our YouTube Channel which can be found at:

St. David’s Children Society YouTube

The National Adoption Service has agreed to manage the Wales Adoption Register for Welsh Government.

Suzanne Griffiths the Director of Operations for the National Adoption Register said

“I am pleased to have been able to work with Welsh Government, and colleagues in the former BAAF Cymru, to ensure that the Register can continue to operate. Ensuring this will mean that children who need to be adopted are unaffected as well as providing a further opportunity to strengthen and develop the role the register plays in adoption services in Wales.

The Wales Adoption Register is just one of the ways that adoption services use to match children to adopters. The National Adoption Service would like to assure adopters and professionals who use the Wales Adoption Register that there will be no disruption to the service they receive.

The only change people who use the Register will experience is a different telephone number and e-mail contact. These are being publicised on the website, by partner agencies and letters have been sent to adopters and professionals.”

For further information contact the National Adoption Service for Wales: contact@adoptcymru.com

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Mae’r Gwasanaeth Mabwysiadu Cenedlaethol wedi cytuno i reoli’r Gofrestr Fabwysiadu Cymru ar gyfer Llywodraeth Cymru.

Dywedodd Suzanne Griffiths Cyfarwyddwr Gweithrediadau ar gyfer y Gwasanaeth Mabwysiadu Cenedlaethol

“Dwi’n falch o fod wedi gallu gweithio gyda Llywodraeth Cymru a chydweithwyr yn BAAF Cymru gynt i sicrhau bod Cofrestr Mabwysiadu Cymru yn gallu parhau i weithredu. Mae sicrhau parhad y gofrestr yn golygu nad effeithir ar blant sydd angen eu mabwysiadu a bod cyfle pellach i gryfhau a datblygu rôl y gofrestr ei chwarae yn gwasanaethau mabwysiadu yng Nghymru.

Mae’r Gofrestr Fabwysiadu Cymru yn un o’r ffyrdd y mae defnyddio gwasanaethau mabwysiadu i gyfateb plant i fabwysiadwyr. Byddai’r Gwasanaeth Mabwysiadu Cenedlaethol hoffem sicrhau fabwysiadwyr a gweithwyr proffesiynol sy’n defnyddio’r Gofrestr Fabwysiadu Cymru y fydd unrhyw darfu ar y gwasanaeth maent yn ei dderbyn.

Yr unig newid pobl sy’n defnyddio’r Gofrestr yn profi yn wahanol rhif ffôn a chyfeiriad e – bost cyswllt. Mae’r rhain yn cael eu cyhoeddi ar y wefan , gan asiantaethau partner a llythyrau wedi cael eu hanfon at fabwysiadwyr a gweithwyr proffesiynol.”

Am fwy o fanylion , cysylltwch â’r Gwasanaeth Mabwysiadu Cenedlaethol Cymru: contact@adoptcymru.com

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